Wednesday, September 12, 2007

homesick

i've been having a pretty rough time this week. all the rushing around moving and getting married is done and i'm settling in, and it is suddenly really hitting me that i don't live in portland anymore. most of my friends and family (the ones who don't live really far away) are 2 hours north up I-5. and it's really FLAT here. i heard the other day that buildings are not allowed to be taller than 8 stories. i miss the skyline. i miss city lights reflecting off of the river. i miss how the shade of the buildings keeps downtown cool in the hot summer. i miss all the bridges with cars rushing over them in different directions. i miss the endless dining possibilities and all the different bars. i know i'm going to miss the hell out of the christmas tree in pioneer courthouse square this winter.

what i really miss is my friends. i know you guys are still my friends, so i don't feel a total loss, but it is really hard not to be able to just call someone and say "let's go get a beer at widmer after work," or "let's go on a bike ride," or "come hang out with me on my back patio." now it has to be an entire day--if not overnight--planned trip complete with dog-care arrangements if i want to hang out.

i do not regret moving here. i very much support matt and this ninkasi thing (plus there's a good possibility it could make us rich!). and there are so many things i love about this town, like the bike paths, the vegetable gardens in everyone's front yards, the very cool down-to-earth people i'm meeting, and the general way of life. it's just another life transition, and sometimes those are tough.

i know a lot of you guys have, at some point in your lives, packed up and moved away to a new city for whatever reason. anyone have any advice for me?

7 comments:

T is said...

I have not had to make this transition since is was like 9 but I did have to do it a lot when I was a kid, and I know how hard it can be, but before you know it you have a whole mess of new friends, and you will fall in love with your new city....Just give it time!

Anonymous said...

I've never been in new place long enough to have to re-adapt (even when I was studying abroad for 6 months and had built in companions from school). But I agree with T. You'll find new things to love in Eugene, and you've never had trouble meeting new people. I have found from personal experience in trying to meet new people that joining groups always helps (Mazamas, young adult group at church, etc. helped me) Check out meetup.com and search for Eugene. My friend Sushma found a hiking group that way, and they have a range of other different interest groups too.

On a side note, I really miss you too, but there will be plenty of times to get together (like skiing this winter!!!)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I've done that moving things lots of times and it really does take some time to get adjusted to a new life. Meeting people and making new friends will help; so will finding cool things to do around town (and when the brewery opens, that will kill two birds with one stone). But it won't cure missing urban life. Only thing that will is visiting urbanity periodically (or convincing Matt to start a chain and moving to the big cities!!). You, however, are someone who always finds people and has fun so I'm not worried!

jenn said...

Drink heavily. It eases the pain.

Okay, I'm kidding. (Well, I'm sort of kidding.)

One thing that I did when I moved to SF was to convince myself that it would be good for me to spend time alone, especially since I like to be around other people so much and was so unaccustomed to being alone. I thought I might learn something about myself or develop a deeper personality or something like that. I'm not really sure if that happened, but I did get much more comfortable with solitude (which is good, because otherwise I certainly would have dumped DWE by now). I guess my point is that you might think of it as an opportunity for growth, because then at least your loneliness will seem to have a purpose.

marissa said...

thanks guys! :) just hearing from you has helped.
and learning how to be alone has been really good for me too. i'm actually starting to turn into quite the homebody, believe it or not. i think the slower pace of life here has been good to slow down the frantic pace of me!
come see me when you can, though. i miss you!

Anonymous said...

I wandered over here from T's blog. Eugene definitely has a lot of charm. I've never thought of it as flat before but then again, I lived in Fargo before I moved here. The adjustment to a new place is hard, I'll give you that!

marissa said...

yeah, fargo must have been REALLY flat. eugene's landscape is hilly around the edges (which makes for some really cool hikes), so maybe "flat" wasn't the right adjective. i think more like "short." it's definitely short. i went up an elevator at the department of justice the other day and thought "wow. i think this is the first elevator i've seen in eugene!"